On losing faith in myself.

Why did I give up on being an artist?

I guess I lost faith in myself and my talent. When did that happen?

In my final year of college, I took a life drawing class. Yes, there were nude models. After a few weeks I just stopped going. I didn't even bother to officially drop the class, I just stopped showing up.

I guess I was embarrassed. I took a break from my drawing and looked at the drawings of the other artists. They all looked so much better than mine.

I've heard that seeing the work of other artists can be inspiring; that it encourages some people to work harder to reach that next level of greatness. But for me, it just made me want to give up. So I did.

It was the same with music. My school had a focus on opera. There were students I met there with voices that would blow you away. I was not one of those people. I never got a leading role in the operas; I was always in the chorus. I decided not to go to graduate school because I knew no matter how hard I worked, I would never be great.

Performing probably wouldn't have worked out for me anyway. I didn't want to travel the world touring. I wanted to stay home. But I still wonder sometimes if I gave up too soon.